Today, as I write, is Easter Sunday! I was blessed by the televised service at Hayes Barton Baptist Church in Raleigh. It was BEAUTIFUL! THEN, we...yes...WE, Mitch and I shared Easter lunch with Mama, at her house, along with Jessica, John Robert (our daughter and son-in-law), and our grandchildren Micaylah and Damon.
YES!!! What more Easterish way to celebrate this holy day celebrating Christ's rising from the dead than the day I "up from my house, I arose" (ala "Up From the Grave He Arose and what Jessica said) and went visiting family?! This was my FIRST time leaving my house since the Christmas Eve service. I was supposed to be dead by now, not being wheeled to Mama's. I ate good (for me), I enjoyed myself and being with my family. Only James was missing, but he's in Georgia and will come after this semester ends. It's like God put legs to the aforementioned hymn! I'm living the power of God to raise someone up and show folks what God can do when man can't. I'm good with that!
I'm standing on the promises of God! He doesn't promise that I'll literally stand, I can't do that by myself, but let me tell you, I'm not just standing...I'm running spiritually! Today's a great, blessed day and I feel like I'm living on pwn Easter. Can't beat that for a way of celebrating!
And I'm finally learning to get myself around in the wheelchair once Mitch gets me in it. I can't get myself in and out of the chair by self...he has to help me with that. It hurts his back so I only do it in the morning and when it's bedtime. I could probably done that before now, but I didn't thiink about ot. I had to look at how to do it and figure it out for myself. I taught myself how to wheel myself around. Douesn't sound like much, I know, but that's how my brain works. I had to figure out how to do this. Anf it took a while to do that.
Today has been a true day of living out the Resurrection in my own little way. On Easter. The day the world changed and Satan couldn't stop it! The day God said, "I'M God and you aren't and no other 'god' is either. Me. t\The Great I AM."
And in the wee hours of the morning, God revealed His calming-in-the-storm power to the friend of mine who walks MelaRoad with me on Facebook and her journey, right now, is treacherous. Roadblocks are being constantly being thrown in her way and up until the wee hours of this Easter morning, she was not a person of faith. But, after talking with a friend who followed God's lead, she found faith and experienced God washing His calmness over her. A calmness that she knew was Lord-given! Heavily, and I do mean heavily, burdened with melanoma...she found Jesus and He was right there with her in Melaland...had been there all along and she's standing on the Rock now.
I tell ya, folks, today is Easter and God's at work and He's giving people a new life and resureccting them from the dead! And it's exciting!!!
Whether we stand from our chair or in our bed or onour own two feet, we stand. We fall seven times, yes, but we STAND eight. Nobody will actually see me standing, on my own, now. I do try, but I jusy can't do it. But I tell you what...
I stand. In my mind. In my spirit. I stand on the Rock. I stand on the promises of God. I do not sit, I stand and I will continue to stand. I will not sit. I will fall, and I have fallen...I am fallen. But God is faithful to stand me up, dirt and all, and pick me up.
I always stand eight. Never down for the count.
And when my time comes and people see down for the final time, may they remember looks can be decieving for I will not be falling...I will be standing and I will be running to the Rock through His Gates of Praise and I'll never fall again...I'll still be standing.
This time, I'll stand on my own, without a chair and the only Power supporting me will be God. I'll have Easter everyday and will experience the Easter I can only read about right now. And I'll rememebr today. For a mortal human being living with melanoma, I'm living the Easter life right now.
Today I STAND eight.
May you stand eight, also and be blessed.
charis
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Monday, April 10, 2017
With My OWN Dear 16 Year Old Me
I'm not in the best of moods today so this is the perfect day for me to write this post. Melanoma Awareness Month (May) is fast approaching but I feel the need to not wait until then. I'm writing it now while I have a lot of "have mercy!" in me.
The David Cornfield Melanoma Fund in Canada made the ULTIMATE melanoma awareness video several years ago and it's still shared, used, uplifted to this day. Prepare to see it often in May. It has been seen, so far, over TEN MILLION times in its six years existence! And it is Dear 16 Year Old Me. In case you ignored my first link to it in this post, here it is again. Besure to watch it before moving on to something else.
Here's my own letter to my 16 year old me. Keep in mind, I was a pretty good kid, a Daddy's girl, and Mama and I at this time had the stereotypical Mother-Daughter relationship. I was the ultimate rebel when it came to her. If Daddy had been the first one to tell me to have that mole removed, well despite hating procedures, I probably would have had it removed to make him happy and to shut him up about it. But. NO! It was Mama who nagged the pure-tee-crap out of me. So. No. I hung onto that dang thing just to make her miserable. Now...
Dear sixteen year old me, for being such a decent kid, you sure were stupid and rebellious! You went to church every Sunday, active in the MYF, and you took that blasted mole everywhere you went just to make Mama mad and to hear her beg you to get it removed so it wouldn't give me trouble one day! Me, every time she mentioned that mole, you told her...every time and there were a LOT of times, to "Leave me alone! It's just a mole for crying out loud! It's not like it's going to kill me or anything!"
Yes, dear defiant sixteen year old me...you did say that. Repeatedly. And guess what? You should've listened to Mama! The old gal actually knew what she was talking about. Garden Peas!!! (Mama's equivalent of cussing). Why couldn't you have had that mole removed and shut her up? It's not like she didn't have plenty of other stuff to nag you about mercilessly! Oh no. Not you, me. YOU had to keep at it. Not only did you keep that mole, you enjoyed laying out in the sun. In the backyard. At the pool. At the yearly trip to the beach. You'd fall asleep out there. Sunblock didn't exsist, but suntan lotion did. And it all smelled like coconut. Remember that, me? You hated it and wouldn;t wear it. If you were in the backyard or at the pool you used Johnson's Baby Oil. If it was at the beach, you didn't use it. Went just bakable skin.
Remember those burns? I remeber at least 3 really good ones. There may have been more. I mean, I did fall asleep out there. But man did I look good! For me. Never was a bathing beauty, but I was passable. And a good tan made us all look good. The tanner the better the bragging rights. Rememebr, me? You were soooooooooo, say again, vainly stupid!
And dammit, if Mama wasn't right! That damn mole that you hung on and got sunburned with, and, did I mention that little talked about the time famiky history of melanoma...well, guess what Smarty Pants?
It's killing me. Literally.
See Dear 16 Year Old Me, you and me, Kid, we couldn't see the furute and we didn;nt understand about melanoma and there just wasn't the info about it that we have now. We didn't know that stupid mole could really kill me. And it is.
See Me, years have passed since we were 16 and have been bitten and I have my own melanoma dignosis. I started at stage 3b in July 2008 and jumped to advanced stage 4 in Sepremebr 2015. Brain (4 tumrs, lung, spine...bone). I was told in July 2016 that Duke had nothing left to offer me and they gave me a month. Well Me. I'm still here and can write this. I'm living on borrowed time and I kow it and I', only 57.
Dear Sixteen Year Old Me, 57 may sound "old" to you right now. But trust me. I'ts not old. At all. Tell other 16 year olds, you;ve got a lot of life left to live and you REALLY do want to see 57 and way beyond.
Live the coming years smartly. There are tanning beds now. STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM THEM and tell your friends that. They are killers. When you're outside and in the sun, wear sunBLOCK at least 30 or higher and apply liberally and every 2 hours. And be fashionable and make hats fashuonable and wear a hat, prefreabaly with a wide brim. If you CAN stay out of the direct sun in the early afternoon, do. Be sun smart and safe. That tan really is not worth your life.
I do NOT want my srory to be your story. Heed my warnings and the warnings of others. For the record, I stopped laying out when I was around 18-19. I was starting to hear more about Grandaddayd's melanoma and basal cell skin cancers (he was a sawmill man) and I knew I didn't want any parrt of any kind of cancer. I stopped, but the damage was done. It just was. That's how it goes. Do the damage today and pay for it later. In my case, decades later.
Dear Sixteen Year Old Me, I love you. I loved you then and I love you now. You're a Granny now. You've two grown children. Tell them about me. Tell them the whole story and tell them how I wish I could have lived those years differently.
Be that one final blessing for others by sharing our story NOW and prevent others from having a similar story to share later. We always think "this" happens to "other people." WE are ALL other people to everybody on the planet except for ourselves. YOU ARE OTHRE PEOPLE!
So long, Sixteen Year Old Me!
charis
The David Cornfield Melanoma Fund in Canada made the ULTIMATE melanoma awareness video several years ago and it's still shared, used, uplifted to this day. Prepare to see it often in May. It has been seen, so far, over TEN MILLION times in its six years existence! And it is Dear 16 Year Old Me. In case you ignored my first link to it in this post, here it is again. Besure to watch it before moving on to something else.
Here's my own letter to my 16 year old me. Keep in mind, I was a pretty good kid, a Daddy's girl, and Mama and I at this time had the stereotypical Mother-Daughter relationship. I was the ultimate rebel when it came to her. If Daddy had been the first one to tell me to have that mole removed, well despite hating procedures, I probably would have had it removed to make him happy and to shut him up about it. But. NO! It was Mama who nagged the pure-tee-crap out of me. So. No. I hung onto that dang thing just to make her miserable. Now...
Dear sixteen year old me, for being such a decent kid, you sure were stupid and rebellious! You went to church every Sunday, active in the MYF, and you took that blasted mole everywhere you went just to make Mama mad and to hear her beg you to get it removed so it wouldn't give me trouble one day! Me, every time she mentioned that mole, you told her...every time and there were a LOT of times, to "Leave me alone! It's just a mole for crying out loud! It's not like it's going to kill me or anything!"
Yes, dear defiant sixteen year old me...you did say that. Repeatedly. And guess what? You should've listened to Mama! The old gal actually knew what she was talking about. Garden Peas!!! (Mama's equivalent of cussing). Why couldn't you have had that mole removed and shut her up? It's not like she didn't have plenty of other stuff to nag you about mercilessly! Oh no. Not you, me. YOU had to keep at it. Not only did you keep that mole, you enjoyed laying out in the sun. In the backyard. At the pool. At the yearly trip to the beach. You'd fall asleep out there. Sunblock didn't exsist, but suntan lotion did. And it all smelled like coconut. Remember that, me? You hated it and wouldn;t wear it. If you were in the backyard or at the pool you used Johnson's Baby Oil. If it was at the beach, you didn't use it. Went just bakable skin.
Remember those burns? I remeber at least 3 really good ones. There may have been more. I mean, I did fall asleep out there. But man did I look good! For me. Never was a bathing beauty, but I was passable. And a good tan made us all look good. The tanner the better the bragging rights. Rememebr, me? You were soooooooooo, say again, vainly stupid!
And dammit, if Mama wasn't right! That damn mole that you hung on and got sunburned with, and, did I mention that little talked about the time famiky history of melanoma...well, guess what Smarty Pants?
It's killing me. Literally.
See Dear 16 Year Old Me, you and me, Kid, we couldn't see the furute and we didn;nt understand about melanoma and there just wasn't the info about it that we have now. We didn't know that stupid mole could really kill me. And it is.
See Me, years have passed since we were 16 and have been bitten and I have my own melanoma dignosis. I started at stage 3b in July 2008 and jumped to advanced stage 4 in Sepremebr 2015. Brain (4 tumrs, lung, spine...bone). I was told in July 2016 that Duke had nothing left to offer me and they gave me a month. Well Me. I'm still here and can write this. I'm living on borrowed time and I kow it and I', only 57.
Dear Sixteen Year Old Me, 57 may sound "old" to you right now. But trust me. I'ts not old. At all. Tell other 16 year olds, you;ve got a lot of life left to live and you REALLY do want to see 57 and way beyond.
Live the coming years smartly. There are tanning beds now. STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM THEM and tell your friends that. They are killers. When you're outside and in the sun, wear sunBLOCK at least 30 or higher and apply liberally and every 2 hours. And be fashionable and make hats fashuonable and wear a hat, prefreabaly with a wide brim. If you CAN stay out of the direct sun in the early afternoon, do. Be sun smart and safe. That tan really is not worth your life.
I do NOT want my srory to be your story. Heed my warnings and the warnings of others. For the record, I stopped laying out when I was around 18-19. I was starting to hear more about Grandaddayd's melanoma and basal cell skin cancers (he was a sawmill man) and I knew I didn't want any parrt of any kind of cancer. I stopped, but the damage was done. It just was. That's how it goes. Do the damage today and pay for it later. In my case, decades later.
Dear Sixteen Year Old Me, I love you. I loved you then and I love you now. You're a Granny now. You've two grown children. Tell them about me. Tell them the whole story and tell them how I wish I could have lived those years differently.
Be that one final blessing for others by sharing our story NOW and prevent others from having a similar story to share later. We always think "this" happens to "other people." WE are ALL other people to everybody on the planet except for ourselves. YOU ARE OTHRE PEOPLE!
So long, Sixteen Year Old Me!
charis
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Living In The Dark
When I first started this particular blog, I planned to write every day. But lufe got in my way for w while. I had ideas. I knew what wanted to write abiut, but I just couldn't write it. There are thoughts in my mind at this point of my life that only God knows and will know. There are thought's I don't plan to share with anybody. I bet just about everyine who has walked this way understands. There are simoply oains we will not let others kow...even our nearest and dearest. There are no words to describe how it feels you are putting your loved ones through the ultimate hurt and they will continue to hurt when you're gone. You can't help it or stop it and you can't prevent it, try as you might. This isn't how it was supposed to be, but this is how it is and this is the timing of it. Too soon. Too early. Too much left to do and can't. Even if there were words to describe it, only God would know them.
I've been watching CNN's "The Eighties" on Netflix. Last night it was about the muscic in the 80s and of course, Bruce Springsteen got a plg and it was "Dancing in the Dark." A favorite. I have a great friend, my big melaBro, Rich McDonald, who writes the "Hotel Melanoma" blog and what he does is take a Rock classic and put a melanoma twist on it. He has written some for me. I take requests and I've been told I'm "bossy" so I take advantage of that trait and I BOSS. People just think Springsteen/s The Boss...it's really me! insert annoying smiley face here.
So here's my take on Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark" at this time of my life. (link to watch video with Courtney Cox)
charis
I've been watching CNN's "The Eighties" on Netflix. Last night it was about the muscic in the 80s and of course, Bruce Springsteen got a plg and it was "Dancing in the Dark." A favorite. I have a great friend, my big melaBro, Rich McDonald, who writes the "Hotel Melanoma" blog and what he does is take a Rock classic and put a melanoma twist on it. He has written some for me. I take requests and I've been told I'm "bossy" so I take advantage of that trait and I BOSS. People just think Springsteen/s The Boss...it's really me! insert annoying smiley face here.
So here's my take on Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark" at this time of my life. (link to watch video with Courtney Cox)
“Living When It’s Dark” a rewrite based on Bruce Springsteen’s
“Dancing in the Dark”
I
stay up in the evening
and I sure got plenty to say
I’m at home in the morning
I go to bed feeling the same way
I am anything but tired
Man I'm not tired just bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help
You can't start a fire
You can't start a fire without a spark
My life's on fire
even if we're just living in the dark
Message keeps getting clearer
TV's on and I'm skootching 'round the place
Won’t check my look in the mirror
I ain’t changing my clothes, my hair, my face
But I ain't going nowhere
I AM living in our house like this
There's something happening right here
baby I just know that there is
You can't start a fire
you can't start a fire without a spark
My life’s on fire
even if we're just living in the dark
You sit wantin’ to get older
want a joke here somewhere but it's on me
and I sure got plenty to say
I’m at home in the morning
I go to bed feeling the same way
I am anything but tired
Man I'm not tired just bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help
You can't start a fire
You can't start a fire without a spark
My life's on fire
even if we're just living in the dark
Message keeps getting clearer
TV's on and I'm skootching 'round the place
Won’t check my look in the mirror
I ain’t changing my clothes, my hair, my face
But I ain't going nowhere
I AM living in our house like this
There's something happening right here
baby I just know that there is
You can't start a fire
you can't start a fire without a spark
My life’s on fire
even if we're just living in the dark
You sit wantin’ to get older
want a joke here somewhere but it's on me
I'll shake this world off my shoulders
come on baby this time's on me
Remember the streets of this town
and they'll be hugging you up alright
They say you gotta stay living
hey baby I'm just living through tonight
I'm dying for some action
I'm tired of sitting 'round here trying to live this life
I need a little action
come on now baby gimme some more time
You can't start a fire sitting 'round crying over a dying heart
My life’s on fire
Even if we're just living in the dark
You can't start a fire even when your little world’s falling apart
My life’s on fire
Even if we're just living in the dark
Even if we're just living in the dark
Even if we're just living in the dark
Even if we're just living in the dark
Hey baby
come on baby this time's on me
Remember the streets of this town
and they'll be hugging you up alright
They say you gotta stay living
hey baby I'm just living through tonight
I'm dying for some action
I'm tired of sitting 'round here trying to live this life
I need a little action
come on now baby gimme some more time
You can't start a fire sitting 'round crying over a dying heart
My life’s on fire
Even if we're just living in the dark
You can't start a fire even when your little world’s falling apart
My life’s on fire
Even if we're just living in the dark
Even if we're just living in the dark
Even if we're just living in the dark
Even if we're just living in the dark
Hey baby
charis
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