I know. She's thinking! Watch out for falloing debris!
We know abot living our dash...how we live. We also think about the legacy we will leave.
Like it or not, none of us will stay here forever. We just won't. We all have lives; we do good things, great things, mistakes, maybe even do something criminal. We'tre human. And being human, we will, one day be no more. What will people say about us? How will we be rememebred?
Will my husband speak of me fondly or as a puer pain? (insert annoying smiley face here...I'm doted on and taken care on by the best husband EVER) What stories will he tell our grandchilren, and other people, abiut me?What will my legacy be?
I know how my children will rememberr me. I'm pretty sure they'll rememenr how such I loved them and tries to raise them right. They will ALSO rememebr myy "devil's voice". Whhen I got angry, really angry, especially when it was lare and it was waaaaaaay past bedtime, I hollered using what THEY called with my devil's voice. They knew I was ready to jerk a knot in them. They'll reeme er those times with a laugh. Weill my kides rememebr to use their own devil's voice when their kids are in trouble? Will my kids rememeber how I did with them and do those things with THEIR kiids? What rules and ways of MINE will MY kids make for their own kides that mirror my rules and ways? What will they use and what will they change or dismiss? How will I be remembered with them? What will be my legacy?
I pastored several churches during my time in the ministry. How will the good folks in my congregations rememeber me? Did I do any good that will carry on?
How will my family and friends who have known me all my life rememebr me? Uh oh. What stories will they share? Will my children laugh or hang their heads? Will I have lived a life that emabarrassed them or will they be fairly proud of me?
The day will come when my grandchildren won't rememeber me...sone thaven't even been born yet...what will they be told about me? How will I be rembebere? What is my legagcy?
How will the melanoma community rememebr me> New melahomies join our raks everyday. So maye don't know me...and that's the way it is for all of us. For those who know me, have I made an impact in the world of melaland>
We will ALL leave a legacy. How will YOU actually be rememebr by the ones wno matter? What changes do you need to make NOW wh9ile you can.
As I look back at this post, I see that I wrote a LOT of typos! Sorry. Not a great bran power day I recon. But I hope I made an impact with it and got people thinking.
This piont on my life is right around the corner. I look back on my life and I'm pretty satisfied. Not perfect, but blessed. My husband, children, grandchildren, Mama, and brother still speak to me (smile), I haven't lived too badly.
May peple rememebr the wheat and ignore the chaff. I'm only human.
Just rememebr, while you're living your dash, what will be rememevbered one day when you're no longer here? If you don't like it...change it.
I care. So does God.
charis
Friday, May 19, 2017
Sunday, May 7, 2017
Standing Up For Melanoma Awareness/Education Month
OK. In my last post I got a little punchy. Yes, me. I was on a topic that means a lot to me and I got a tad carried away with myself. I think I'm entitled. See, THIS time, THIS year, THIS May'y Melanoma Awareness/Education Month means so much more to me.
Talking 'bout a new attitiede! A new perspective that's, well, deeper, in your face and knows more that I did last May.
I began lodging at Hotel Melanoma Thuursday July 10, 2008 when I was told melanoma was in my mole. In August 2008 I was dianosed stage 3b. I realized then that I'm mortal. Up until then, I knew I'd die one day. EVERYBODY will die. We're ALL terminal...oh how I mortally despise that word...terminal. But I expected I'd be old. I figutred I'd die quickly. All that was theory, I guess. I had my thoughts and suppositions. I didn't have a clue about reality.
This time last year, things weren't good with me, but I had not been told there was nothinng lefft for me. I still had hope I could outwit melanoma in 4 places in my brain, mel in my lung, in my lumbar sacram (bottom of spine). I spread awareness of melanoma all this time, though I don't remember what I spread. Thankks to Facebook on the On This Day Paage I can rememeberr. All the years of my diagnosis, I was very active in the online melanoma community. I had connections, influnce and I used it all to help peiople. But I really didn't grasp the gravity of melanoma awareness and education until July 13, 2016 when the drs at Duke told me there was nothing left for me and I was sent home to die. That gave me a fresh way of looking at this.
We're in MAEM now...7 days in as I post and I'm not supposed to be here. But I am. So let me tell you how it's like to know you really ARE mortal and you REALLY will die...and it's not supposed to be like this.
I'm 57 years old. I may not see 58. I'm supposed to be going out with Mitch and us living our lives. Being man and wife, doing things together and tell about our day when we go in separate directions during the day as we pursue our calls. Him being a pharmacist and helping at the store and me beling a Methodist pastor. That's how it was supposed to be. Instead, he's at home with me all day every day. He does all the cooking and cleaning and shopping. He does everything. It wasn't supposed to be ths way. I'm either on the sofa or in bed all day every day. I can't walk. He has to help me get in the wheelchair and get out of it. He has to help me gey in and off the furnituire. It wasn't supposed to be this was. But it is. THIS is what melanoma awarenss looks like. It doesn't give a damn that we had a life and THIS ISN'T it!
I'm supposed to be part of my two churches. An active Methodist pastor, making a differnce, in people's lives. Helpong in the community. NOW I wacth church on Sunday morning on TV. I don't have a life to be part of. People have their lives. When I was first supposed to die, people were here. Now it's only some family and a few friends. I know they care, but they have stuff to do. They have lives to live and places to go and meals to cook and they don't realize Mitch gets lonely and needs to see faces other than mine. THIS is what melanoma has done. THIS is melanoma awareness and education is.
I'm sypposed to be a good Wife, Mom, Granny, Daughter, and Mother-in-Law. NOW, I'm a cause of worry and a burden. THIS IN NOT how my life was supposed to be. NOT at 57. NOT NOW.
But. This is how it is. Melanoma Awareness/Education is more than stats and info. It's real life. Life and death. wanting to live and doing your damned best to do that. No matter what. It's about God in the midst. I want YOU to live and choose life. I want YOU to take what I say to heart and make any necessary chanjges to your kife that you need to so YOU don't share this leg of my journey with me with your OWN advanced stage 4, nothing left to to do case.
I want YOU to live your calling, be there for your family, get moving and enjoy life, watch your children grow up and have their own kids.
I want so much for you. It's too late for me. It's not too late for you, I hope.
Do more than be aware. Do more than be educated.
Absorb my words into your life and look at your own life. Love it. Don't take it for granted. This isn't how it was supposed to be for me.
Prayerfully, it's not how it will be for YOU. It's just not how it's supposed to be.
We all think this won't happen "to me." The trouble with that thinking is we're all "other people."
I'm standing with you spiritually because I can't stand physically with you. But, together, we stand.
Against melanoma. Melahomies together forever. God with us and bless us all, everyone.
charis
Talking 'bout a new attitiede! A new perspective that's, well, deeper, in your face and knows more that I did last May.
I began lodging at Hotel Melanoma Thuursday July 10, 2008 when I was told melanoma was in my mole. In August 2008 I was dianosed stage 3b. I realized then that I'm mortal. Up until then, I knew I'd die one day. EVERYBODY will die. We're ALL terminal...oh how I mortally despise that word...terminal. But I expected I'd be old. I figutred I'd die quickly. All that was theory, I guess. I had my thoughts and suppositions. I didn't have a clue about reality.
This time last year, things weren't good with me, but I had not been told there was nothinng lefft for me. I still had hope I could outwit melanoma in 4 places in my brain, mel in my lung, in my lumbar sacram (bottom of spine). I spread awareness of melanoma all this time, though I don't remember what I spread. Thankks to Facebook on the On This Day Paage I can rememeberr. All the years of my diagnosis, I was very active in the online melanoma community. I had connections, influnce and I used it all to help peiople. But I really didn't grasp the gravity of melanoma awareness and education until July 13, 2016 when the drs at Duke told me there was nothing left for me and I was sent home to die. That gave me a fresh way of looking at this.
We're in MAEM now...7 days in as I post and I'm not supposed to be here. But I am. So let me tell you how it's like to know you really ARE mortal and you REALLY will die...and it's not supposed to be like this.
I'm 57 years old. I may not see 58. I'm supposed to be going out with Mitch and us living our lives. Being man and wife, doing things together and tell about our day when we go in separate directions during the day as we pursue our calls. Him being a pharmacist and helping at the store and me beling a Methodist pastor. That's how it was supposed to be. Instead, he's at home with me all day every day. He does all the cooking and cleaning and shopping. He does everything. It wasn't supposed to be ths way. I'm either on the sofa or in bed all day every day. I can't walk. He has to help me get in the wheelchair and get out of it. He has to help me gey in and off the furnituire. It wasn't supposed to be this was. But it is. THIS is what melanoma awarenss looks like. It doesn't give a damn that we had a life and THIS ISN'T it!
I'm supposed to be part of my two churches. An active Methodist pastor, making a differnce, in people's lives. Helpong in the community. NOW I wacth church on Sunday morning on TV. I don't have a life to be part of. People have their lives. When I was first supposed to die, people were here. Now it's only some family and a few friends. I know they care, but they have stuff to do. They have lives to live and places to go and meals to cook and they don't realize Mitch gets lonely and needs to see faces other than mine. THIS is what melanoma has done. THIS is melanoma awareness and education is.
I'm sypposed to be a good Wife, Mom, Granny, Daughter, and Mother-in-Law. NOW, I'm a cause of worry and a burden. THIS IN NOT how my life was supposed to be. NOT at 57. NOT NOW.
But. This is how it is. Melanoma Awareness/Education is more than stats and info. It's real life. Life and death. wanting to live and doing your damned best to do that. No matter what. It's about God in the midst. I want YOU to live and choose life. I want YOU to take what I say to heart and make any necessary chanjges to your kife that you need to so YOU don't share this leg of my journey with me with your OWN advanced stage 4, nothing left to to do case.
I want YOU to live your calling, be there for your family, get moving and enjoy life, watch your children grow up and have their own kids.
I want so much for you. It's too late for me. It's not too late for you, I hope.
Do more than be aware. Do more than be educated.
Absorb my words into your life and look at your own life. Love it. Don't take it for granted. This isn't how it was supposed to be for me.
Prayerfully, it's not how it will be for YOU. It's just not how it's supposed to be.
We all think this won't happen "to me." The trouble with that thinking is we're all "other people."
I'm standing with you spiritually because I can't stand physically with you. But, together, we stand.
Against melanoma. Melahomies together forever. God with us and bless us all, everyone.
charis
Friday, May 5, 2017
In Melanoma Awareness/Education Month
Celebrating the 5th day of Melanoma Awareness/Education Month...a day, last year that I didn't think I'd be seeing quite frankly but I'm glad I am. If I could be pacing on my soapbox right now, I'b be on a roll! I got stuff to say. Most people are going to ignore this post when they see it pop up on the Facebook and see the title of the post. That's OK. Because maybe a few willl feel guilty and read it and hear me.
First: would it kill my familt and frieens that are NOT melahomies, read my posts and acknowledge melanoma! Seriously? Seriously! I've invited folks to Donna Helms Melanoma Event and posted the page on my page and not a one have joined. All you have to is is "join." It cots you nothing but a click. That's it. I have a May Is Melanoma Awareness Month page. WE have melanoma! WE know all about it! We share so, maybe, you'll pay attention to us, learn about this disease, and MAYBR TOU won't get it yourself! We don't want you singing with our choir. We know the songs. We'd just as soon you sing along with Chris Tomlin or Meatloaf or Bruce Springsteen...or you favorite. We do what we do so MAYBE you won't join us in Melaland. None of us do what we do for US or for the fun of it. We post, share, and nag to HELP you and prayerfully spare YOU. YOU!
And, how about wearing BLACK? THAT's our color. Mela, melas, melan...Greek for BLACK, oma is Greek meaning tumor. People like black. It's a classy, fashionable color that goes with everything. Year round. A little support means a lot. There are many colors and diseases out there that have their own colors, days, or months. If you have, or know someone who does, show them some support and when you see their posts, show a little support...know persoannly and not these posts that circulate and are passed around necause someone copy/pastes and tells you to share. Make your posts personal. We all deal with something. If you are connected to me, it won't kill you to like some of my melanoma stuff. Promise. And truly, if you like or even share some of my melanoma stuff, you kight just save a life...maybe your OWN or someone you love,
This will probably be a my last MAEM. I wasn't suppsed to still be here for this one. Yet. Here I am. Maybe to light your fire a little. maybe to provoke my ire. Maybe to save your life and spare you what I'm going through.
See, it's probably NOT going to be melanoma that I actually will die from. I took some mighty potent meds and lived throough, barely, and have been enduring some life threatening side effects. It's a couple of those side effects that shoulld have killed me my now. All things considered, I'm doing good for where I am, but I know that can...will...change...at any time.
If it wasn't for the meds, I wouln'd be in this situation.
And I wouldn't need the meds if I didn't have advanced stage 4 melanoma.
And I wouldn't have advanced stage 4 melanoma if I had just listened to my parents and later to Mitch and had that mole removed decades ago and if I hadn't got some sunburns on that mole.
Thiis is the house that Jack built.
We just want to help YOU build YOUR house with melanoma NOT in the floorboards.
That's why I'm grateful to share another May, the month of Melanoma Awarenness/Education with you. It probabyl will be my last.
I want to make it count.
Will YOU help me?
Please?
Blessings.
charis
First: would it kill my familt and frieens that are NOT melahomies, read my posts and acknowledge melanoma! Seriously? Seriously! I've invited folks to Donna Helms Melanoma Event and posted the page on my page and not a one have joined. All you have to is is "join." It cots you nothing but a click. That's it. I have a May Is Melanoma Awareness Month page. WE have melanoma! WE know all about it! We share so, maybe, you'll pay attention to us, learn about this disease, and MAYBR TOU won't get it yourself! We don't want you singing with our choir. We know the songs. We'd just as soon you sing along with Chris Tomlin or Meatloaf or Bruce Springsteen...or you favorite. We do what we do so MAYBE you won't join us in Melaland. None of us do what we do for US or for the fun of it. We post, share, and nag to HELP you and prayerfully spare YOU. YOU!
And, how about wearing BLACK? THAT's our color. Mela, melas, melan...Greek for BLACK, oma is Greek meaning tumor. People like black. It's a classy, fashionable color that goes with everything. Year round. A little support means a lot. There are many colors and diseases out there that have their own colors, days, or months. If you have, or know someone who does, show them some support and when you see their posts, show a little support...know persoannly and not these posts that circulate and are passed around necause someone copy/pastes and tells you to share. Make your posts personal. We all deal with something. If you are connected to me, it won't kill you to like some of my melanoma stuff. Promise. And truly, if you like or even share some of my melanoma stuff, you kight just save a life...maybe your OWN or someone you love,
This will probably be a my last MAEM. I wasn't suppsed to still be here for this one. Yet. Here I am. Maybe to light your fire a little. maybe to provoke my ire. Maybe to save your life and spare you what I'm going through.
See, it's probably NOT going to be melanoma that I actually will die from. I took some mighty potent meds and lived throough, barely, and have been enduring some life threatening side effects. It's a couple of those side effects that shoulld have killed me my now. All things considered, I'm doing good for where I am, but I know that can...will...change...at any time.
If it wasn't for the meds, I wouln'd be in this situation.
And I wouldn't need the meds if I didn't have advanced stage 4 melanoma.
And I wouldn't have advanced stage 4 melanoma if I had just listened to my parents and later to Mitch and had that mole removed decades ago and if I hadn't got some sunburns on that mole.
Thiis is the house that Jack built.
We just want to help YOU build YOUR house with melanoma NOT in the floorboards.
That's why I'm grateful to share another May, the month of Melanoma Awarenness/Education with you. It probabyl will be my last.
I want to make it count.
Will YOU help me?
Please?
Blessings.
charis
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