Peolpe are telling me I'm an "inspiration" I'm "inspiring and inspirational." Thanks, but I'm none of that. I'm a human being doing the best I can with what I've got and I'm a person who's pushing through. Everybody's inspiring in their own way. Everybody is a model for someone who needs to see how you're pushing through, or going around, or going ovver the obstacle that's in yout way.
We're all being watched by someone else to cee how to cope with a trial that's currently a part of their life. How do you push though the trials you're living with now? What are you modeling for the folks around you, are part of your life, that you reveal to folks who know you only through Facebook? And we never know who's watching to se how you're copinf.
True story: S few decades ago, Mama and Daday were hit with some surprising news...news that wasn't as commomplace then as it is today. But they faced it gracefully and modeled Christ in them. A little later, another couple in our area was faced with the same issue in their family. Years later, the woman from this second couple told me she rememebre how Mama dealt with it and her memoeries of Mama helped her handle it when it happened in her family!
We never know what people will rememebr and hold on to to get them through. They may tell us or they may not. They may be family or they may be folks we know or they may have heard our stories from others.
When I first started sharing about my melanoma, I wanted to push people to share theirs. I'm Bossy, not Inspiring. I still want to push peple to get out of their comfort zones and tell people what their dealing with. I want to push people to push others and share! Maybe what you're dealing with isn't melanoma...so...share about what you are dealing with! Join or create a group, talk face to face with someone who needs you and understands, write that blog or book, make that phopt album, write those songs, get out of your comfort zone and help someone. Push youself. Don't say "I can't"...say "I can" and then get the hekp you may need and do it. You may not write that best seller. But you know what? You won't write it if you don't push yourself and try!
I can push through writing but I also push myslef to live. If you read my last post you know about the constant pain I live with. And push through. I push me. I don';t want to inspire you to push...I want to tell you to push! I want to boss the hell out of you and tell you ti live as best you can while you can. Push through the pain...rest when you need to, but then resume pushing. Push, rest, push, rest.
I can't stand up on my own strength, but it has taken some pushing to get to where I am. If you need a pity party, throw a good one, then push on! I speak with authority and with first hand experience.
Whule I'm pushing you around toeay, lisren to the ultimate Pusher. God blows in our lives. Right now He's blowing me as I sit in my sofa seat. I feel His Wind as I sit still. Be still and know. Where's God blowing you! Fokkow HIS lead and go where His Wind b,ows.
On Facebook, we each have a page of our memories of this day. Posts we did on that day howver many years ago...depending on how long we've been on FB. I wrote this post on my Attitude of Gratitude 5 years ago. God's at work here because this AOG post works beaurtifully with my post here today. Read and be blessed: https://letsgivethanks.blogspot.com/2012/03/going-where-gods-wind-blows.html
God's blowing. Pushing us. Moving in and on us. HE'S the one who truly inspires us. Me? I just try to push you into His path!
charis
Friday, March 31, 2017
Thursday, March 30, 2017
With Pain
Recently soembody commented that they were glad I was doing this blog for as long a s I can about being advanced stage 4 melanoma. Their loved one had died from mel, had not ever really talked about what he was going thru, and now they hoped to get an idea of what theirloved one lived with. I hope I can help explain what the pain is like. In my case my tumors are in my brain, lung and spine. There's nothing left for me, so I'm not in any treatment and no more scans. It's quite possible that there's been spread and tumors are now in more places.
Yes. There's constant pain. Pretty mucj all over. I'm extrememly for the excellent pain killers available and I have a high level of pain tolerance, but part of having a cancer that has reached the point of having nothing left to offer, well, pain is there. I don't let people see it though. For me, right now, it's manageable. I take 2 high powered pain killers a day and just a few days ago I added a 3rd dose. I still have low level pain round the clock, but so do plenty peopel for different reasons. I'm 57 so I'm at a stage in life where pain and/or stiffness is the norm, no matter what...fir some people it's not round the ckock and for some it is. For me it is.
Starting from the top. I keep a dull, all-over headache. It's worse in the front of my face. As long as I'm sitting up, I'm better...not painfree, just better. When I lay down, when let's just say I can't get comfortable at bedtime. Pressure rushes wherever I turn and stays there. My whole head, round the clock, no matter how I sit or lay down...there's pressure.
And that feeling foes down my neck and into both shoulders and all across my back. Moving can be hard. Using my muscles hurs and not using my muscles hurts. Still a dull pain and that pain and stiffness goes down my arms and fungers.
I can live with it though. People reading this who actually know me and have seen me will be surprised by this. Everybody lives with something and life goes forward for them...well, this is me living with this and life goes forward. I do have a high ,elel of pain tolerance as I'ce said and I will not put myself in a place of becoming addicted to my pain killer. Mitch also monitors my meds and I can't get to them. Speaking of my meds, I also take an anti-seizure med twice a day and that definitle stops the pain that comes with seizures.
There's a stiffness that comes with this. I was in bed a loooooong time and I lost my muscles andenergy. I'm still rebuilding. I can stand...but Mitch has to hold me up. O dom't know if I'll ever stand up so I can begin getting back to walking some. When I lay down I can straigten out my legs, but that takes a few seconds and hurts, but when I want to stand, my knees won't straighten and it jurts. Really hurts. I'm not so suee abiut that old saying "No pain, no gain." I really don't push myself too hard, and I don't push myself at all when Mitch isn't with me because I;;m really afraid of breaking a bone. I take good care not to do something stupid that could cause a fracture.
So far, the tumor(s) really hasn't affected my lung...no pain, except when I try to sing. I maybe sing a couple of syllables or 2 and then I have to catch my nreath. It's not that gab when I talk, just singing. And that bothers my throat.
Then I get to my bowel area. To put it nicely, I'm completely incontentntn and have been for several months. I don't know if I've now got tumors there or really really bad gas paons but at least once a day now and sometimes twice a day, for literally 2-3 HOURS there's very intense pain as I think I'm "doing something" and when the pain ends...I've done NOTHINING. And when I'm going thru that partucular time, my pain meds can't touch it.
I've already written about my legs. My feet hurt to wiggle my toes and when I move my ankles. I do exercise my feet and toes everyday whuke I sit. The pain doesn't stop me. I don't like it but I need to. I do stretches, arms, finfers and legs everyday. Yeah, it husts but I need to do and despite the pain, I feel better when I do it. I feel like I'm accomplishing something,
So, yes there is pain with, but who has ever lived a life with absoleltely no pain. It's a part of life, I witnsess people whi live with so much worse and for longer. I dare not compalin
I write this post because there are others who wnat to know what this life with advanced stage 4 melanoma is like. This is the tip of the iceberg. Maybe I'll write more about pain later. I want to keep writing as long as I can.
In rhe meantime, if YOU ever have something you want to ask about or want a post about, let me know and I'll do my best to accomodate. Rgere's so mch I cannot do about my situation, BUT I can write about it!
And rememebr, this is all thanks to those teenage sunburns and layimg out a s a teenager, and it's thanks to hanging on to that blasted mole I refused to remove despite Mam's warning, and thanks to my genes. Yep...3 strikes you're out. But I'm not down for the count yet. So please feel free to share your concerns that you want me to address. And find me on Facebook.
Charis
Yes. There's constant pain. Pretty mucj all over. I'm extrememly for the excellent pain killers available and I have a high level of pain tolerance, but part of having a cancer that has reached the point of having nothing left to offer, well, pain is there. I don't let people see it though. For me, right now, it's manageable. I take 2 high powered pain killers a day and just a few days ago I added a 3rd dose. I still have low level pain round the clock, but so do plenty peopel for different reasons. I'm 57 so I'm at a stage in life where pain and/or stiffness is the norm, no matter what...fir some people it's not round the ckock and for some it is. For me it is.
Starting from the top. I keep a dull, all-over headache. It's worse in the front of my face. As long as I'm sitting up, I'm better...not painfree, just better. When I lay down, when let's just say I can't get comfortable at bedtime. Pressure rushes wherever I turn and stays there. My whole head, round the clock, no matter how I sit or lay down...there's pressure.
And that feeling foes down my neck and into both shoulders and all across my back. Moving can be hard. Using my muscles hurs and not using my muscles hurts. Still a dull pain and that pain and stiffness goes down my arms and fungers.
I can live with it though. People reading this who actually know me and have seen me will be surprised by this. Everybody lives with something and life goes forward for them...well, this is me living with this and life goes forward. I do have a high ,elel of pain tolerance as I'ce said and I will not put myself in a place of becoming addicted to my pain killer. Mitch also monitors my meds and I can't get to them. Speaking of my meds, I also take an anti-seizure med twice a day and that definitle stops the pain that comes with seizures.
There's a stiffness that comes with this. I was in bed a loooooong time and I lost my muscles andenergy. I'm still rebuilding. I can stand...but Mitch has to hold me up. O dom't know if I'll ever stand up so I can begin getting back to walking some. When I lay down I can straigten out my legs, but that takes a few seconds and hurts, but when I want to stand, my knees won't straighten and it jurts. Really hurts. I'm not so suee abiut that old saying "No pain, no gain." I really don't push myself too hard, and I don't push myself at all when Mitch isn't with me because I;;m really afraid of breaking a bone. I take good care not to do something stupid that could cause a fracture.
So far, the tumor(s) really hasn't affected my lung...no pain, except when I try to sing. I maybe sing a couple of syllables or 2 and then I have to catch my nreath. It's not that gab when I talk, just singing. And that bothers my throat.
Then I get to my bowel area. To put it nicely, I'm completely incontentntn and have been for several months. I don't know if I've now got tumors there or really really bad gas paons but at least once a day now and sometimes twice a day, for literally 2-3 HOURS there's very intense pain as I think I'm "doing something" and when the pain ends...I've done NOTHINING. And when I'm going thru that partucular time, my pain meds can't touch it.
I've already written about my legs. My feet hurt to wiggle my toes and when I move my ankles. I do exercise my feet and toes everyday whuke I sit. The pain doesn't stop me. I don't like it but I need to. I do stretches, arms, finfers and legs everyday. Yeah, it husts but I need to do and despite the pain, I feel better when I do it. I feel like I'm accomplishing something,
So, yes there is pain with, but who has ever lived a life with absoleltely no pain. It's a part of life, I witnsess people whi live with so much worse and for longer. I dare not compalin
I write this post because there are others who wnat to know what this life with advanced stage 4 melanoma is like. This is the tip of the iceberg. Maybe I'll write more about pain later. I want to keep writing as long as I can.
In rhe meantime, if YOU ever have something you want to ask about or want a post about, let me know and I'll do my best to accomodate. Rgere's so mch I cannot do about my situation, BUT I can write about it!
And rememebr, this is all thanks to those teenage sunburns and layimg out a s a teenager, and it's thanks to hanging on to that blasted mole I refused to remove despite Mam's warning, and thanks to my genes. Yep...3 strikes you're out. But I'm not down for the count yet. So please feel free to share your concerns that you want me to address. And find me on Facebook.
Charis
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
With My Emotions
I'm not the same person now that I was September 2, 2015 when I was told "brain, lung, spine" at Duke. Up until that moment I was happily stage 3b melanoma. I knew something was going on due to some symptom, but the extend completely floored me. I sat there in the dr's office and just cried. I knew what "brain" meant and add lung and spine (bone) to it and I reaay knew what that meant. I knew what was coming, I just didn't know when. I still don't know when, but I've traveled a path of emotions. Let me tell you about and tell you where I am now.
We all have emotions and we're all different people. This is about me. I can't write about you, but I can tell you what this has been like for me and maybe it will hekp you somehow. I hope so.
I've always been a practical person...a trait i inherited from both my parents...Mama even more so than Daddy. I'm a naturally happy person, my son says I'm "too perky". I'm realistic, like both my parents and whule they both see life as the glass beung half full, MY glass overflows. The lens in my glasses are reality and they are colored deep rosy red. That's who I am naturally. Oh, and those lens are also looked through theoogically. I have to find God in everything or I can't function.
Back in Sep 2015, I cried. A lot. Sometimes I'd be feeling like me and thrn it would hit me. From out of nowhere. That eventually lessened as I just didn't have the time to dwell on this. The battle was engaged and it had to be fought and that's where my energy went. Plus, I just didn't want to go to the place where I felt sorry for me. I have a huband who was giving me his heroical best and he needed my best for him. My two grown children and son-in-law needed me to model for then how to do this and I sure didn't want to show them a nasty Mma! My two young grandchldren didn't understand what was going on and why I stayed in bed, but I sure as heck wanted THEM to see the best me possible. My fight has never been about me, it has been about them and for them. I was satisfied in Sept 2015 to go home and live out my days like I wanted to. My plans didn't include Duke, surgery, raiation, and toxic drugs. Not me. But my son chanjed my mind and my daugher, husband and son-in-law joined in. THEY wanted me to fight to live. To do whatever the drs wanted me to do. So to make rhem happy, I put my feelings aside and did what they wanted.
I had 4 brain tumrs to deal with first. They were all spread out so they removed the largest. After it healed somewhat, they did 5 rounds of raiation on by brain and spine at the same time. All this time, Mitch and I went back and forth to Duke as I healed. Mitch worked and I spent the days at Mama's so I was never left alone.
I was happy to be able to be home. I did good with the surgery and radiation. Mama did the cooking as no one wanted me around the stove. We all knew there was never any telling what my brain would decide to do. I still had my crying spells at night when Mitch was alseep...he saw a few, but he didn't see most of them. I needed to let everyoe see a brave face and I needed that for myself. Even with my damaged brain I knew it was important for me to face this honestly but yet nicely around peopel and to be the old me as best as I could. This disease brought about some changes in me. I'll be damned if I was going to let it chaange evetything. Probably that was the biggest battle for me...to be ME as best I could. I wasn't going to let death or anything else get me down for good.
After my brain did some healing I was started on the Opdivo-Yervoy combo and did 2 rounds. My drs were pleased I was able to do that much because a lot of people can't do but one round. It liked to have killed me and that second round landed me at Duke for 2 weeks. Mitch never left my side and I honestly didn't think I was going to leave Duke. I thought I was dying and so did Mitch for a while there. Needless to say, the combo was dropped. I went back home, stayed in bed, had no enery or strenth, or appitite. It took me a looooooooong time to get back to a somewhat diet and eat. I still drink a lot of milk everyday, It was milk that got me through that time. And God. God has been with me every step.
I honestly don't rememebr what my emotions were then. I do rememebr never lashing out at anybody at Duke excpet one tiem when I was trying my best to get a dr to listen to what I was trying to tell her and she just wouldn't hear me out. Other than that one time, I nice to folks, eveb thru all the jabs and pokes...they were doing their job and not trying to hur me. The longer I was there the worse that time got. I wasn't in pain...they had good stuff to take crae of that!....but all the needles took their toll on the veins in my right arm. My left arm has lymphedema and can't have needls. So all draws and everything was done on my right arm and the vein structure was destroyed. After two weeks I was able to go home. I didn't die aftter all and they put me on Zelboraf. After a few weeks they added Colettic. After a few weeks they had to take me off the Colettic and a few weeks larer they took me off the Zel.
I can't do drugs. Never have been able to. I can't even take aspirin without side effects. These chemicals took a toll on me and there was no more after that.
I say June, Mitch says July, 2016, the tumors in my brain were back and I was given a month. I still didn't spend my time crying though I did still have my times when tears would fall. But not for long and never when anybody could see them except Mitch. I wanted spending my time, in bed as I was, with my family as best as I could and I wanted them to know I was OK and we had time to talk.
I never got angry during this time. I had worked out my anger back in 2008 when I was first diagnosed. I didn't want to eat up the rest of my life being angry. I wanted my family to have good memories of me. And above all, I needed to them to see me living my faith even as I was dying. And I was dying. In mid-August 2016 we all though my time had come. Good byes were said, tears were shed. And I was OK. God had gotten me to a place where I was truly at peace. When I first came home from Duke I was taking up to 5 high dose pain killer, NOW however, I was down to 1 or 2. I had aleady looked death in the face and knew I could do what I had to do/ I wasn't scared. I really wasn't. I had expected me to be eaten yp with fear, but I wasn't. I was calm. Serene, at peace.
And I lived through it! I did't die after all. I've never been back to Duke. Mitch can get me in a wheelchair to the sofa now where I spend my days. I can't expalain what happened. Christmas miracle? The toxic chemicals side effects worked out? A combination of both? God working through the chemicals and now I'm living with the good they brought and the toxic part is gone? I don't know. But I di know that I'm doing better now than I've done i months! Not complaining.
Since I'm not going back to Duke, I have no clue what my melanoma is doing. Don't want to know. I'm a miracle nand I knw it and I donn't plan to mess that up! I'm enjoying my life as it is. It's far more than I ever exxpected it to be lasst Augucy when I was dying.
I know this disease. I don't know the time I have left. Death is a part of life but, as a person of faaith, it's only the beginning to LIFE! Twice now I've looked death in the face, got close enogh to almost kiss, and God said "I don't think so. Not now." I'm fine with that.
I've seen more time than I ever dreamed of having in August. I've seen more of my children and grandchildren than I ever thought I would bakc in August. They've all gotten to see THIS me and gotten their own up close and personal glimpse of what God can do.
I don't have a clue as to what's going on inside me. I know something is, but I don't know exacctly what. I don't want to know either. Emotionally I;m in a suprisingly great place. I'm not afraid,,,that fear has already been faced and overcome. I'm not miserable...I'm happy and so gald to still be here. I'm not full of complaints...I;m full of joy. God has been busy!
Nope. I'm not who I was. I'm far better. I've been through a lot and I've still got stuff to go through and I don't know what exactly. But none of us know what our futues holds.
But I do know WHO holds my future and I know, without a doubt, I can can through it and celebrate my victory over it as I run through the Gates of Praise. THAT much I di know!
Be strong. Smile. Share your love and joy and laughter with the ones you love while you can.
Do what's imprtaant and do it with the right attitude...not in fear and dread. We only pass this way but once. Make your once count. Be a blessing, even if it's always in bed or ina chair, and be blessed.
charis
We all have emotions and we're all different people. This is about me. I can't write about you, but I can tell you what this has been like for me and maybe it will hekp you somehow. I hope so.
I've always been a practical person...a trait i inherited from both my parents...Mama even more so than Daddy. I'm a naturally happy person, my son says I'm "too perky". I'm realistic, like both my parents and whule they both see life as the glass beung half full, MY glass overflows. The lens in my glasses are reality and they are colored deep rosy red. That's who I am naturally. Oh, and those lens are also looked through theoogically. I have to find God in everything or I can't function.
Back in Sep 2015, I cried. A lot. Sometimes I'd be feeling like me and thrn it would hit me. From out of nowhere. That eventually lessened as I just didn't have the time to dwell on this. The battle was engaged and it had to be fought and that's where my energy went. Plus, I just didn't want to go to the place where I felt sorry for me. I have a huband who was giving me his heroical best and he needed my best for him. My two grown children and son-in-law needed me to model for then how to do this and I sure didn't want to show them a nasty Mma! My two young grandchldren didn't understand what was going on and why I stayed in bed, but I sure as heck wanted THEM to see the best me possible. My fight has never been about me, it has been about them and for them. I was satisfied in Sept 2015 to go home and live out my days like I wanted to. My plans didn't include Duke, surgery, raiation, and toxic drugs. Not me. But my son chanjed my mind and my daugher, husband and son-in-law joined in. THEY wanted me to fight to live. To do whatever the drs wanted me to do. So to make rhem happy, I put my feelings aside and did what they wanted.
I had 4 brain tumrs to deal with first. They were all spread out so they removed the largest. After it healed somewhat, they did 5 rounds of raiation on by brain and spine at the same time. All this time, Mitch and I went back and forth to Duke as I healed. Mitch worked and I spent the days at Mama's so I was never left alone.
I was happy to be able to be home. I did good with the surgery and radiation. Mama did the cooking as no one wanted me around the stove. We all knew there was never any telling what my brain would decide to do. I still had my crying spells at night when Mitch was alseep...he saw a few, but he didn't see most of them. I needed to let everyoe see a brave face and I needed that for myself. Even with my damaged brain I knew it was important for me to face this honestly but yet nicely around peopel and to be the old me as best as I could. This disease brought about some changes in me. I'll be damned if I was going to let it chaange evetything. Probably that was the biggest battle for me...to be ME as best I could. I wasn't going to let death or anything else get me down for good.
After my brain did some healing I was started on the Opdivo-Yervoy combo and did 2 rounds. My drs were pleased I was able to do that much because a lot of people can't do but one round. It liked to have killed me and that second round landed me at Duke for 2 weeks. Mitch never left my side and I honestly didn't think I was going to leave Duke. I thought I was dying and so did Mitch for a while there. Needless to say, the combo was dropped. I went back home, stayed in bed, had no enery or strenth, or appitite. It took me a looooooooong time to get back to a somewhat diet and eat. I still drink a lot of milk everyday, It was milk that got me through that time. And God. God has been with me every step.
I honestly don't rememebr what my emotions were then. I do rememebr never lashing out at anybody at Duke excpet one tiem when I was trying my best to get a dr to listen to what I was trying to tell her and she just wouldn't hear me out. Other than that one time, I nice to folks, eveb thru all the jabs and pokes...they were doing their job and not trying to hur me. The longer I was there the worse that time got. I wasn't in pain...they had good stuff to take crae of that!....but all the needles took their toll on the veins in my right arm. My left arm has lymphedema and can't have needls. So all draws and everything was done on my right arm and the vein structure was destroyed. After two weeks I was able to go home. I didn't die aftter all and they put me on Zelboraf. After a few weeks they added Colettic. After a few weeks they had to take me off the Colettic and a few weeks larer they took me off the Zel.
I can't do drugs. Never have been able to. I can't even take aspirin without side effects. These chemicals took a toll on me and there was no more after that.
I say June, Mitch says July, 2016, the tumors in my brain were back and I was given a month. I still didn't spend my time crying though I did still have my times when tears would fall. But not for long and never when anybody could see them except Mitch. I wanted spending my time, in bed as I was, with my family as best as I could and I wanted them to know I was OK and we had time to talk.
I never got angry during this time. I had worked out my anger back in 2008 when I was first diagnosed. I didn't want to eat up the rest of my life being angry. I wanted my family to have good memories of me. And above all, I needed to them to see me living my faith even as I was dying. And I was dying. In mid-August 2016 we all though my time had come. Good byes were said, tears were shed. And I was OK. God had gotten me to a place where I was truly at peace. When I first came home from Duke I was taking up to 5 high dose pain killer, NOW however, I was down to 1 or 2. I had aleady looked death in the face and knew I could do what I had to do/ I wasn't scared. I really wasn't. I had expected me to be eaten yp with fear, but I wasn't. I was calm. Serene, at peace.
And I lived through it! I did't die after all. I've never been back to Duke. Mitch can get me in a wheelchair to the sofa now where I spend my days. I can't expalain what happened. Christmas miracle? The toxic chemicals side effects worked out? A combination of both? God working through the chemicals and now I'm living with the good they brought and the toxic part is gone? I don't know. But I di know that I'm doing better now than I've done i months! Not complaining.
Since I'm not going back to Duke, I have no clue what my melanoma is doing. Don't want to know. I'm a miracle nand I knw it and I donn't plan to mess that up! I'm enjoying my life as it is. It's far more than I ever exxpected it to be lasst Augucy when I was dying.
I know this disease. I don't know the time I have left. Death is a part of life but, as a person of faaith, it's only the beginning to LIFE! Twice now I've looked death in the face, got close enogh to almost kiss, and God said "I don't think so. Not now." I'm fine with that.
I've seen more time than I ever dreamed of having in August. I've seen more of my children and grandchildren than I ever thought I would bakc in August. They've all gotten to see THIS me and gotten their own up close and personal glimpse of what God can do.
I don't have a clue as to what's going on inside me. I know something is, but I don't know exacctly what. I don't want to know either. Emotionally I;m in a suprisingly great place. I'm not afraid,,,that fear has already been faced and overcome. I'm not miserable...I'm happy and so gald to still be here. I'm not full of complaints...I;m full of joy. God has been busy!
Nope. I'm not who I was. I'm far better. I've been through a lot and I've still got stuff to go through and I don't know what exactly. But none of us know what our futues holds.
But I do know WHO holds my future and I know, without a doubt, I can can through it and celebrate my victory over it as I run through the Gates of Praise. THAT much I di know!
Be strong. Smile. Share your love and joy and laughter with the ones you love while you can.
Do what's imprtaant and do it with the right attitude...not in fear and dread. We only pass this way but once. Make your once count. Be a blessing, even if it's always in bed or ina chair, and be blessed.
charis
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
Skootching Queen...That's ME!
OK! If you read my last, and in this case...furst, post you'll know people have enjoyed my skootching! Who Knew? They borh got a lot of comments and one person called Skootching Queen and another was quick to comment that didn't ABBA write that? Well, that my brain thinking. Watch out for falling debris. My dear melabro wtites the blog Hotel Melanoma in which he rewrites the rock, and sometimes DISCO classics and gives them a melaanoma twist. He also has a FB page for that. Soooooo, taking a page from Rich, here's my take on ABBA's "Dancing Queen."
Back to me! OK, I did that song part of this post last night and was apparently having a good brain power mement...no red sqiggles except for skootching. I'm seeing a lot of squiggles elswwehere. Not so good brain power day for spelling. But that's pary of where I om. I know what I want to write, I see the right keys, but I dodn't HIT the right ones! Sometimes my sentences don't make sense. Nor do y paragraphs. Sometimes when writing and taling I search for the right word and can't find is and it's a simple word. Sometimes I sit and look at the keyboard and can't for the life of me find the letter I'm looking for. Sometimes I rememebre my commas a nd sometimes I don't,
I do better communicating when talking face to face. Every other way is up for grabs. The telephone is usually my nemesis. I can't talk onm it for long as I lose my conceemtration and I lose my concentration when reading something. Just face itm Carol, I lose my concentration easluy no matter what! That's part of what brain surgery and raduiaotn on om brain did. But I can talk so I'm OK. Thee was a time when I couldn't even do that eaasily.
Life is surely didfferrnt now and thats OK. I'm here for now and glad to be. Not complaining. When I started this blog yeastereday, I dsiad I'd be hoenesy about what my life is like now. This is just part of it. More to come. Hiopefully!
For now, I've come a lomg way since July when I was given a momth. I'm the Skootching Queen now! Sktchoot on! It's the new vraze!
charis
A Reworking of Abba’s "Dancing Queen" by Carol
Taylor
Skootching Queen
You
can’t dance, you can’t jive, but having time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Skootching Queen
Every night and the lights are low
So wishing for a place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You’d like to come to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy
But night ain’t young nor’s the music's high
With a bit of rock music, all could be fine
You're in the mood for a dance
But when you get the chance...
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Skootching Queen
Every night and the lights are low
So wishing for a place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You’d like to come to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy
But night ain’t young nor’s the music's high
With a bit of rock music, all could be fine
You're in the mood for a dance
But when you get the chance...
You are the Skootching Queen, “young”, sweet, remember
seventeen
Skootching Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can’t dance, you can’t jive, but having time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Skootching Queen
You're no teaser, don’t turn 'em on
They’re not burning and they want you gone
Not looking for another, no one will do
You wish in the mood for a dance
But when you get the chance...
You are the Skootching Queen, “young”, sweet, remember seventeen
Skootching Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can’t dance, you can’t jive, but having time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Skootching Queen
Skootching Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can’t dance, you can’t jive, but having time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Skootching Queen
You're no teaser, don’t turn 'em on
They’re not burning and they want you gone
Not looking for another, no one will do
You wish in the mood for a dance
But when you get the chance...
You are the Skootching Queen, “young”, sweet, remember seventeen
Skootching Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can’t dance, you can’t jive, but having time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Skootching Queen
I do better communicating when talking face to face. Every other way is up for grabs. The telephone is usually my nemesis. I can't talk onm it for long as I lose my conceemtration and I lose my concentration when reading something. Just face itm Carol, I lose my concentration easluy no matter what! That's part of what brain surgery and raduiaotn on om brain did. But I can talk so I'm OK. Thee was a time when I couldn't even do that eaasily.
Life is surely didfferrnt now and thats OK. I'm here for now and glad to be. Not complaining. When I started this blog yeastereday, I dsiad I'd be hoenesy about what my life is like now. This is just part of it. More to come. Hiopefully!
For now, I've come a lomg way since July when I was given a momth. I'm the Skootching Queen now! Sktchoot on! It's the new vraze!
charis
Monday, March 27, 2017
Hi There! So, This Is Who God Sent
Isaiah 6: 8
Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.” (New Living Translation)
I wanted to make the URL for this blog "hereiam" and blogspot had already taken that. Someone already had "hereiamsendme" too. So I named the blog "Here I Am" and gave the URL "standeight". A dear friend of mine's daughter, her favorite motto was "Fall 7 times, stand 8." Well, I'm currently standing 8.
The blog that really gets into my melanoma story is Attitude of Gratitude. I've stopped writing that blog when I had it put in pdf form and made into a book for my family. I write about melanoma a lot but not exclusively. In (I remember June, Mitch says July) a Ju.. month in 2016 my drs at Duke said there was nothing left for me and said I had around a month left. We had been told September 2, 2015 that melanoma was in my lung, spine, and 4 tumors in my brain. I'm now writing this on March 27, 2017. We all thought I was dying in mid-August 2016. Seriously. Not only have I NOT died, I'm getting better!
Here's what I excitedly posted on my Facebook page just yesterday:
Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.” (New Living Translation)
I wanted to make the URL for this blog "hereiam" and blogspot had already taken that. Someone already had "hereiamsendme" too. So I named the blog "Here I Am" and gave the URL "standeight". A dear friend of mine's daughter, her favorite motto was "Fall 7 times, stand 8." Well, I'm currently standing 8.
The blog that really gets into my melanoma story is Attitude of Gratitude. I've stopped writing that blog when I had it put in pdf form and made into a book for my family. I write about melanoma a lot but not exclusively. In (I remember June, Mitch says July) a Ju.. month in 2016 my drs at Duke said there was nothing left for me and said I had around a month left. We had been told September 2, 2015 that melanoma was in my lung, spine, and 4 tumors in my brain. I'm now writing this on March 27, 2017. We all thought I was dying in mid-August 2016. Seriously. Not only have I NOT died, I'm getting better!
Here's what I excitedly posted on my Facebook page just yesterday:
"My miracle for the day! Let me start with, "yes, I have a cowbell beside
me." BUT, my brain was on the fact that Mitch was in the kitchen
cooking lunch just now while I was on the sofa in the living room, and
the TV was on mute and the remote was on the tray in front of where he
and his laptop sit. We had been talking before he went to cook and he
forgot it was on mute when he left. My brain can only handle but so much
at one time now. It was on mute and I needed the remote...that
was all my brain could handle...thinking about the cowbell was too
much...never crossed my mind and it was right beside me. . I had a
problem and I'm soooo proud of me! I scooted to the edge of the sofa,
wiggled my way to the floor, stretched my legs out and dug my heels in,
and then used my hands, arm strength and bottom...and skootched to the
tray the remote was on. I have no leg strength. I had to rely on my
hands and arms and of course God to get me to the tray, get the remote,
toss it behind me as I skootched backwards to the sofa. I JUST as I
write this thought of the fact that I could have turned around and
skootched forward, but I didn't think about that. I skootched backwards.
When I got to where I could sit against the sofa, I inched my way up
using the sofa for support, and this time I had to use what little leg strength I have, but I got in
the seat and kept skootching until I was actually sitting again. That
felt so good to accomplish all that and use those muscles.
Remember...I'm not supposed to be here and I'm still building up my
strength after coming so close to dying. Now Mitch is worried where
he'll find me next if I can do all this! 
:)
My legs and arms aren't too terribly thrilled with me right now, but
who cares?! I'M mighty pleased, proud, and thankful! God bless! And
remember, this won't seem like much for most people...getting the
remote...big deal. It's the little things folks. Treasure the little
things. Sometimes, they just may be BIG things to some folks!"
:)
My legs and arms aren't too terribly thrilled with me right now, but
who cares?! I'M mighty pleased, proud, and thankful! God bless! And
remember, this won't seem like much for most people...getting the
remote...big deal. It's the little things folks. Treasure the little
things. Sometimes, they just may be BIG things to some folks!"
And here's what I posted today:
"We've got Damon right now and he's a builder. For the first time in
months and months, I was able to skootch down the sofa and get to blocks
and build! I haven't been actually PLAY with either grandchild in a
long long time, so this day is already off to a great start! And my
skootching is already better! I didn't have to use my bottom as much and
could rely on my arms more! I tell ya, it's the little things that are
really the big things! If this keeps up, I'm trying out for the
Skootching Olympics!"
I'm happily in a new phase of life and want folks to know what this blessing is like.
NOW! Up until this point in this post, I have corrected all my spelling. From this point on and in future posts, you'll be reading the me I am now. I'm not going to make anymore corrections. Starting NOW!
This disease and rhe treatments effected my brain power. Some days are good and some aren't so good. I was always a pretty foofo speller and thanks to that red squigglr line, all was fine, or appeared to be.
This new blog is about who I am now...who God still has decicdd ti send, even if I'm only sent from my sofa or bed. My brain poweer ain't what it used to be and considering the alternatie, I'm fine with that! I love the Lord and He knows it, but He still wants me standing...with Him and Mitch holding me up. I can't stand on my own. I haven't gotten the nerve yet to show a pic og my legs! They don't work like they used to and that's OK. And they don't look like they used to either. I'm here.
Yeo, I'm here and this is who I am. Advanced stage 4 melanoma that's supposed to have killed me by now has got God laughing. No disease is in charge. Starting tomorrow I'm going to start telling more. This is just my introduction. Today's a good dau.
Here I am. Send me, even if I'm only sent through cyberspace!
charis
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